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Wednesday, April 24, 2024

The Adventures of Russian Cyborgs Boris and Natasha

Mysterious Duo: Boris and Natasha
I had a dream. No kidding. I dreamt all this. 

Boris and Natasha are Russian cyborgs that defected and work as free lance spies in the U.S. They do not look like the cartoon characters in Rocky and Bullwinkle. They look like normal Russians. She has rich long  black hair, wears a black dress off her shoulders and holds a cigarette holder at all times. Boris has rust color hair and chiseled features and wears a suit.  

They were kidnapped by a Science organization that wanted to turn them into cyborgs. But they already were cyborgs. They found themselves at a science conference with scientists. During the festivities, the two were separated and were about to be grabbed by doctors in white coats who planned on turning them into mindless cyborgs. They, of course, decided to dance together. 

They waltzed in the middle of the room ignoring the scientists and their goons as they approached, and when the scientists got close, they twirled and shot everyone in the room dead. 

Then they casually walked out of the building and went to the parking lot. Of course, they didn’t have a car, but there were lots of cars in the lot. However, Natasha immediately noticed that all the cars had bombs attached to them. Obviously the scientists didn’t want anyone to leave. She found one she liked and defused the bomb wearing her sharp black heels, kneeling on the ground. She didn’t tear her black nylons. Then she hot wired the car and Boris got in the passenger seat. 

She drove away very fast through the sea of cars all set to detonate. They had lunch by the ocean in Naples, Florida. They were drinking their martinis, she was smoking her cigarette and Boris said very casually, “You know there were scientists there I talked to that I really liked." He was eating the olive from the martini when he said that. Natasha didn’t say anything. She picked up her cell phone and ordered an SUV to pick them up at the restaurant. 

Then she drove Boris back to the science facility where everyone was and parked on the hill overlooking the area. Boris and Natasha got out and trudged through the woods back to the science building. They entered by the side door and found a jail cell with  10  “nice” scientists that Boris had befriended earlier. They knocked out the guard, told the scientists to be quiet because they were quite excited to see them, and then led the group up the hill to the car. 

But somehow their escape was noticed and the main group of evil scientists sent out two airplanes and a helicopter to shoot at them. Natasha  didn’t hesitate. She took her arm cannon, which was part of her cyborg arm, and blew two planes and a helicopter out of the air. Boris ignored the fiasco and kept walking. But the good scientists stopped and stared in wonder. 

They got in the SUV, and Natasha drove them out of the complex. The scientists were a little nervous after seeing the powers of Boris’ girlfriend. They said, “That’s quite a girlfriend you have there. Whose side are you guys on?” Boris looked back and said, “Side? What sides are there?” The scientists explained that they were on the side of peace, while the other scientists were trying to destroy the world. They had all been recruited to this bogus conference because of their inventions. 

Boris, said, “Well, we are on your side of course.” The scientists laughed in relief because they had been afraid they were kidnapped by other bad guys. “What do you do for a living?” The timid scientists asked Boris. “Well, Natasha and I are free lance spies available for hire.” They asked if they could hire them. And Boris said, “Certainly, why don’t we go out to dinner to discuss the matter?” They all liked that idea and Natasha drove them to a fancy restaurant in Naples. 

They were quite a jolly crowd after they all had a drink. Natasha, of course, didn’t drink.  Boris promised to get them all home and hire excellent body guards for their families. They were all taken home to their own houses near Naples, but one guy was from New York, so Boris and Natasha put him on an airplane and called his family to pick him up as he was quite drunk. His wife met him with the new body guard Boris had already hired. 

The next day, Boris went around the houses and checked on everyone in Naples. They he took a plane to check on Morgan the scientist living in New York. He got to his house and found the body guard frantically calling him from the front lawn.  There was a huge spiracle black space craft hovering over Morgan’s front lawn. Morgan met him at the door and told him hysterically he’d invented the craft and the evil scientists  had stolen his plans. It had the power to suck up his wife and children. Boris made Morgan and his family move into the basement. They he used his wrist communicator and called Natasha in their private headquarters in Milwaukee. He asked her to blow up the black space craft with their personal satellite because guns and his arm cannon hadn’t hurt it. It was destroyed immediately. 

A U.S. military plane showed up and Morgan was so distraught that he had designed something that could be used as a weapon of mass destruction, he wanted to give his plans to the U.S. military. Boris said, “Whoa, wait, there is nothing to stop the U.S. from using the invention as a weapon of mass destruction too.” So he told Morgan to keep the plans, make another one that would be defensive, give it a smiley face and make it a swirly pink and blue. But he must build it with a stronger hull to protect it. So the scientist did. No one was afraid of a sphere that was pink and blue and it hovered outside Morgan’s house. Well, the scientists didn’t give up and sent five more black spheres to Morgan's house to threaten his family. 

Boris had hired contractors to strengthen his house and the smiley sphere destroyed the five ships. But the bad scientists tried to use their satellite to destroy the smiley face. It repelled the attack and shot the evil scientists’ satellite out of space.

Another satisfying case  for Boris and Natasha.

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