Welcome Friends!

A Catholic blog about faith, social issues, economics, culture, politics and poetry -- powered by Daily Mass & Rosary

If you like us, share us! Social media buttons are available at the end of each post.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

U.S. President Creates Bureau of Vital Fetal Organs

by Lawrence Fox

Months before President Barack Obama’s sodomy promotion tour in Kenya, the White House established the United States Bureau of Vital Fetal Organs.

Congress did not approve the new bureau. In fact, the majority of Congress was not informed about the matter, and still remains ignorant of its existence.

“We will not punish our daughters with unwanted children and we won’t hurt medical research by restricting their access to intact body parts,” the president was overhead saying at a meeting with Planned Parenthood and Democrat members of Congress. He did not use the word human or little person during this exchange since he was already on record stating, “The question of when human life begins is above my pay grade.”

By working to establish the Bureau of Vital Fetal Organs, the president demonstrated his ethical consistency on the science of abortion. Early in his first term, he issued an executive order, releasing a large unused line of “frozen embryos” for medical research. Embryos’ released from frozen captivity have been carefully injected into mice, rats, and hamsters for the purpose of seeking a cure for AIDS, which unfortunately is still contracted by drug use and sodomy -- activities which the President promotes around the world.  Medical science should not be hampered by religious and cultural biases, the president said while signing the executive order creating the Bureau.

U.S. Democrat Senators and Representatives worked feverishly with the president while he was negotiating with Dr. Bladder – a Planned Parenthood advisor - on the exchange of fetal body parts for profit, it was reported anonymously.

President Obama was mostly concerned with adding to his presidential legacy the creation of one arching mechanism that would stimulate the U.S. economy, decrease unemployment, decrease the human carbon footprint (the snap removal of little feet from fetuses is quick and simple), and address Climate Change.

The President reminded those present in the White House during the negotiations that he promised to lower ocean levels as a result of his presidency. It seemed the expeditious merging and promotion of capitalism, medical science, and de-population under one umbrella would secure a Democrat victory in the next general election.

Dr. Bladder advised the President that in the past federal laws protected millions of women in America with access to safe, clean, sanitized, painless, and private abortions. But now by allowing cadaverous witchdoctors at Planned
Cadaverous Witch Doctors
from Planned Parenthood
Parenthood to alter and prolong the abortion procedure (i.e. making them less safe), more intact fetal body mass would be available for a profit with each abortion.

To do this successfully, the amount of Saline,  D&C and Vacuum procedures would have to be reduced. Highly cruel methods of infant execution -- as used during a partial birth abortion -- would need to be used more often.   It was anonymously reported that the option was proposed of not aborting the fetus, but delivering it whole and alive and then immediately putting it in deep freeze like a salmon netted and yanked out of the earth’s liquid uterus.

Dr. Bladder advised the President that the plan had one drawback. There existed a shortage of specialized and intoxicated abortionists capable of performing the task without reservation. The President was reminded that the Lutheran Deacon and partial birth abortionist George Tiller was recently terminated at the OK Corral and Kermit the Frog Gosnell was imprisoned because Attorney General Eric Holder could not protect him. Kermit ran his little house of horrors for years within property owned by Eric Holder’s wife.  

It was anonymously reported that the President retorted, “We can certainly recruit from among ISIS adherents since they have no difficulty with slicing heads, arms and legs off of non-Muslim children. We have done our best to keep ISIS in business only pretending to give a damn. Because of our open borders policy, we have ready access to members of ISIS, who have snuck into the country. ”

Dr. Bladder told the President that there was a very small risk of the un-educated American population finally learning that abortions are not performed on blobs of tissue or
undifferentiated cells, but instead on tiny human fetuses with developing and intact body parts including: heads, legs, arms, fingers, eyes, hearts, kidneys and livers. If that information got out, there would be some indignation among Republicans who would wage another war on women and seek to stop the flow of millions of taxpayer dollars from the federal government to Planned Parenthood.  


It was reported anonymously that President Barack Hussein Obama considered the matter for about ten seconds and reasoned, “If the altered abortion procedures advance medical science and promote my legacy, then this Administration will continue to shield the cadaverous witchdoctors of Planned Parenthood.”

The president then ended the meeting with Democrat members of Congress including: Representatives Lipton Soup and Pepsi, Senators Bentover, Rheem, and Rover. The meeting had netted all the talking points necessary in case things went sour.  

Dr. Bladder, the President and the members of Congress retired for lunch together. Munching on their salads, sipping wine, they discussed casually the value of vital fetal organs and the color of the Lamborghinis they would soon receive from Planned Parenthood. 


P.S. They didn’t know there was a video recording.

Did you enjoy this spoof? Lawrence has written others. FOR THE OBAMA LADY: New Product from Smoke & Mirrors!   


4 comments:

  1. This is well written! Thank you for your courage in speaking out for the Truth!

    ReplyDelete
  2. What part of this article is the TRUTH? I don't like being lied to.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well as far as we know there is no official Bureau of Vital Fetal Organs, but the President hasn't denied it. ... the names of the Planned Parenthood Doctor and Congressmen are made up, but truly describe their actions. God bless you. Susan Fox

    ReplyDelete
  4. However, Hope, I hope you know that the sale of baby parts is very real and very approved by the president. To see some of the undercover videos done by the Center for Medical Progress, which indicted Planned Parenthood for selling baby parts, see this blog web view left upper hand column. A number of them are there. Susan Fox

    ReplyDelete