by Lawrence Fox
NEW
MOVIE! Scheduled to appear in theatres across the Middle East
during Holy Ramadan is the new movie from Weiner Brothers, “Bacon Back
Mountain!”
It is a story about two young men who
desire to be Sunni jihadists while living a salacious double life known as the “Seventh
Century Suspicion.” Muslims are forbidden to kill other Muslims, but manage to
do so by putting other Muslims under suspicion of not being Muslim. Hence you
have the violent split between Sunnis and Shiites, which began with their religion
in the Seventh Century.
Mohamet and Mahamet fell under suspicion beginning the day they were digging graves for beheaded “infidels” in the back mountain regions along the Syrian
and Turkish Borders. There they discover a forbidden love. With only the light
from the Ramadan moon and its three daughter stars, Mohamet and Mahamet discover
raw bacon on the back of a mountain. It was love at first bite.
They were sharpening their knives one
night and practicing the art of slicing the throats of “infidels” (using goats
since they were adherents of the religion of peace) when they accidentally sliced
the throat of a mountain boar, which providentially slipped in between the
goats.
They experienced for the first time unclean
blood – since they do not remember their own births and the blood emerging from
their mother’s womb. They cried out “Allah Makbar Shiek
Shabim, there is swine blood dripping from our skin!”
The words echoed over the ridge but they
were alone under the romancing light of the Ramadan moon. A moment of excitement arose as they stared
into each other’s eyes and watched the swine blood dripping to the earth.
They quickly gathered sticks and lit a fire
and threw the beheaded boar onto the fire. As sparks began to fly - like the
souls of suicidal jihadists flying to the Seventh Heaven after a life of murder
and mayhem -- a pungent aroma filled their Middle Eastern nostrils.
It was a forbidden
aroma never experienced before. In a moment, they entered into a hypnotic and euphoric state, while unclean thoughts filled their brains. “Do we dare offend Allah by eating this
unclean boar?” they whispered softly to each other.
Mohamet and Mahamet pondered over the specter
of losing eternal life as a result of desiring the forbidden. “Let us pretend the boar is an infidel and
not a swine,” they whispered softly to each other.
“The prophet will speak words of mercy
if we tell Allah that cooked boar represents an infidel holocaust.” The smells,
the unclean thoughts, the mountain and the romancing light of the Ramadan moon
were too much.
Mohamet took his knife
and cut the forbidden flesh and ate it and gave some to Mahamet. It was an
Islamic event of proportions reminiscent of the Garden in the Book of Genesis. They stood and looked at each other as they
ate the meat -- until their teeth revealed the naked bones of the boar.
The movie carries the audience into
Mohamet’s and Mahamet’s inner turmoil after they ate the pork as they climbed down
off the mountain.
They struggled to remain Sunni jihadists,
while hiding their salacious double life known as the Seventh Century Suspicion.
Yet they return time and again to the place known only to them as Bacon Back
Mountain.
Together on the mountain, they murdered
boar after boar, engorging on swine while
reaching out their arms in ecstasy screaming “Allah
Makbar Shiek Shabim, there is swine blood dripping from our skin.”
"I'm getting off this mountain!" |
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